5 years hiatus

Took me a few years to start writing again. I spent a few hours reading all my old entries and I can only say that I was so young then. Writing from when I was 22 years old about my first experiences traveling, working, starting a new business, losing a pet, allusions to crushes, studying.. till I was 30 years old. This blog holds my memories of most of the best part of my life for now so I am so so thankful that I kept this electronic journal. I’m truly not the most sentimental of people. I don’t keep much physical memorabilia. Most of my past recollections of events I kept it firmly in my mind, something to be shared when I meet friends and family. But the poignancy of the feelings might be lost for sure so I’m so happy to be able to reread them all here, and re-immerse myself in the stories of past years and what felt like past lives. I have forgotten that I used to be an isfj and that I have been writing about how I like to walk in the night (maybe I’ll go like that one day, killed in the middle of a nocturnal walk.) Since 2015 to now I always tested as an enfp. It fits me to the core because it describe my effervescence around people and how I like to generate ideas and discuss about esoteric things. It felts so essentially me when it generated my profile and describe how I am particularly affectionate to people and empathetic to their feelings. It’s something that I noticed that is unusual because most of my friends aren’t like that. But I know I might be more enthusiastic than most and need to tune that down.

This will be a very introspective post. It’s a year long worth of content that I might need to get off from my chest. Typing this online can be so cathartic. Writing can be as well but I tend to scatter the papers and books around.

It has been a year of flux. To most people this might be typical, what with a regular job and various commitments. But for me, I think it’s one of the year that I have let myself venture out so wholeheartedly. I have never shy away from experiences- jobs, businesses, people, travels and courses. I usually take a leap and never looked back. I never really need to have anyone hold my hand to accompany me in anything. Looking back at things I do feel that I might really benefit from analysing things more before starting and this is something that I might really need to work on, but I love the thrill of starting something new. This year however, really touches on something that I haven’t experience before- intense feelings. I am usually quite a stoic. Preferring action more than dwelling on my emotions. I am self-aware to know why and how I am feeling this way but I don’t like to navel gaze. I usually cruise on my feelings until something changes naturally and the situation improves itself.

Meeting new people is always interesting and so fascinating but I guess I really crash and burn on the one person that really matters to me. Sigh.

I spent all of my 20s working, people and auto-piloting so i guess that the time from 33 to now is really a focus on myself. Wished I started earlier tho.