Okay, feel alot alot better. Woke up feeling like i want to run everywhere. There is still a strong tug of lethargy which i now attribute to the aftermath of the reiki attunement. At least the grieving has lifted and i feel enthusiastic about doing things. I think all this is fate too. I have lost a rabbit but because of this loss, we are able to help another rabbit. So now we have a "curry puff" as opposed to "cocopuff". Hahaha!
Roger, you will be very very missed. Hope you are now jumping around in your bunny heaven frolicking in boundless fields and fluttering butterflies.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Grieving
I never expect myself to feel so upset over this. The sadness just loom over my heart. Perhaps it might be the utter unexpectedness, or the bond forged by the reiki or just the feeling that his death was so wasted.
The doctor told me it was due to the anesthesia and i felt a twinge of anger. Why did they not lower the dosage of it considering Roger was so small?
I made a very bad company for my mother today. I just couldn't concentrate. Right now i simply need some peace and quiet.To only hear the wind ruffle the leaves of trees and the sound of my own inner voice so that the leaden weight of my grief can slowly lift.
The doctor told me it was due to the anesthesia and i felt a twinge of anger. Why did they not lower the dosage of it considering Roger was so small?
I made a very bad company for my mother today. I just couldn't concentrate. Right now i simply need some peace and quiet.To only hear the wind ruffle the leaves of trees and the sound of my own inner voice so that the leaden weight of my grief can slowly lift.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
A title can't simply explain it today
Very exhausting day.
Went for attunement, which is very interesting. Apparently i now have healing hands, not to put it so flippantly. I was still quite amazed to feel the sensation of pickling (like millions of ant bites) on my hands and even up my forearms after the process. I place my hands on my abdomen and feel the heat from my hands spreading out and the cramps subsides. Now i just have to watch out for any healing crisis that might come after the attunement. It frightens me because I am naturally leery of any underlying problems that might arises during the period. I'm afraid what it will ultimately reveals about me- afraid that i might pick fights, confess my feelings or do anything that i might eventually regret. Yeah, it might balance me out, but right now i am simply afraid of changes. Hierophant and temperance- simply the best cards of the deck to explain me.
I nodded off during the meditation, which is ironically good, because it gave me stamina to continue the day. Else i might have driven off the road. Since i came back from Australia, i have been feeling really tired. My cousins and friends have commented how wan and pasty (yikes, horrible word) i look. Must be the Pms, the fallout from the 8 hours flight and jetlag. Speaking of my older cousins, i am so amazed that they really like to read! And they read more chim books than i do. The whole conversation on the table revolves around books, animes (like wow) and tv series last night. If i think that i might be one of the few people who have these selected interests, my cousins have beat me roundly in that. I feel rather inspired. Inspired to be more like them. They are so worldly, witty, very quirky and surprisingly intellectual.
After the attunement i went to open new stocks in the warehouse. Alot of very nice stuff. Patrick has outdone himself. At least we have a new supplier that has a whole lot of new stuff. That explains our recent sales while i was away. Feel like i need to push myself alot more today cos it was also physically demanding.
So i thought that i could go home and sleep after opening the many countless boxes of new stuff. Only to return and find my rabbit's leg broken. :( So i rushed off to mount Pleasant, fortunately with after hour care. At one point, i fell asleep on the hospital sofa cradling him on my arms. The nurse was pretty good looking. I opened the door to the hospital and there behold! Cute guy with deepset, thickly dark lashed eyes and thick eyebrows. I was almost too tired to care. Sigh... so roger needs surgery. The overnight hospital care, x-ray, after hour consultation already cost $400. The surgery will cost up to another $500. I really don't know what to say. I only hope that roger will get well soon and that he won't be in much pain. The reiki really helps. And just in time too. As i hold him in my arms, i feel the now familiar sensation of sharp tingling on my hands and he quiet down, stop struggling. This creates a bond between us. It was then i realised what i have read about reiki to be true. You do become more attune to nature and life. I thought it will stretch my patience to have to stand there and touch someone for more than 5 mins to heal someone. But once i started healing people and animals, it was entirely different. The feeling of touching something, feeling the energy channeling to them, healing them and knowing that it is real is inexplicably profound. Holding an animal or a plant is sometimes more so, because they are so tame and simple. Okay, i really going to ko now. I'm too tired to make much sense anymore.
Love her voice, and this song very much. Evocative.
Nell Bryden- Sirens.
Went for attunement, which is very interesting. Apparently i now have healing hands, not to put it so flippantly. I was still quite amazed to feel the sensation of pickling (like millions of ant bites) on my hands and even up my forearms after the process. I place my hands on my abdomen and feel the heat from my hands spreading out and the cramps subsides. Now i just have to watch out for any healing crisis that might come after the attunement. It frightens me because I am naturally leery of any underlying problems that might arises during the period. I'm afraid what it will ultimately reveals about me- afraid that i might pick fights, confess my feelings or do anything that i might eventually regret. Yeah, it might balance me out, but right now i am simply afraid of changes. Hierophant and temperance- simply the best cards of the deck to explain me.
I nodded off during the meditation, which is ironically good, because it gave me stamina to continue the day. Else i might have driven off the road. Since i came back from Australia, i have been feeling really tired. My cousins and friends have commented how wan and pasty (yikes, horrible word) i look. Must be the Pms, the fallout from the 8 hours flight and jetlag. Speaking of my older cousins, i am so amazed that they really like to read! And they read more chim books than i do. The whole conversation on the table revolves around books, animes (like wow) and tv series last night. If i think that i might be one of the few people who have these selected interests, my cousins have beat me roundly in that. I feel rather inspired. Inspired to be more like them. They are so worldly, witty, very quirky and surprisingly intellectual.
After the attunement i went to open new stocks in the warehouse. Alot of very nice stuff. Patrick has outdone himself. At least we have a new supplier that has a whole lot of new stuff. That explains our recent sales while i was away. Feel like i need to push myself alot more today cos it was also physically demanding.
So i thought that i could go home and sleep after opening the many countless boxes of new stuff. Only to return and find my rabbit's leg broken. :( So i rushed off to mount Pleasant, fortunately with after hour care. At one point, i fell asleep on the hospital sofa cradling him on my arms. The nurse was pretty good looking. I opened the door to the hospital and there behold! Cute guy with deepset, thickly dark lashed eyes and thick eyebrows. I was almost too tired to care. Sigh... so roger needs surgery. The overnight hospital care, x-ray, after hour consultation already cost $400. The surgery will cost up to another $500. I really don't know what to say. I only hope that roger will get well soon and that he won't be in much pain. The reiki really helps. And just in time too. As i hold him in my arms, i feel the now familiar sensation of sharp tingling on my hands and he quiet down, stop struggling. This creates a bond between us. It was then i realised what i have read about reiki to be true. You do become more attune to nature and life. I thought it will stretch my patience to have to stand there and touch someone for more than 5 mins to heal someone. But once i started healing people and animals, it was entirely different. The feeling of touching something, feeling the energy channeling to them, healing them and knowing that it is real is inexplicably profound. Holding an animal or a plant is sometimes more so, because they are so tame and simple. Okay, i really going to ko now. I'm too tired to make much sense anymore.
Love her voice, and this song very much. Evocative.
Nell Bryden- Sirens.
Friday, May 03, 2013
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Woohoo!!
My first day in MONTHS that I have no work, no commitments, no anything that i need to do in a single day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was a sort of bliss waking up early today even though i sleep like 3 plus yesterday. OMG the limitless things i can do!!!!!!! Feel like spinning and turning cartwheels!
oh reckless abandon oh reckless abandon oh reckless abandon
oh reckless abandon oh reckless abandon oh reckless abandon
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