waah... long time no update!

i had been super vain lately, buying dresses, dyeing hair, getting highlights and ow... getting manicure. yes... my wallet hurts, but haiz... youth only comes once. besides, i get over this phrase soon enough, and you guys will see the sloppy, irrelevant, denim skirts clad, juz grab anything from the closet Sijin again. but it feels really nice to dress up once in a while. but it really takes up alot of time. hmm... my hair colour. i had to go Kimage twice to get a satisfactory result. the first time i wasn't happy with the non-existence highlights. everyone complained saying they couldn't see any change from before. (vomit blood.) no one noticed i even dyed my hair again until i told them. ($80++ wasted.) Luckily, my friend told me that Kimage can redo your hair till you are happy with the results as long as you bring the receipt to them within 10 days of the first service. Not bad!! i have to say, i really feel very pai sei that i requested to do re-highlights. but the stylist was really nice about it. he even gave me a scalp massage when he could have spit on my bowl of hair colour. In the end? My highlights are pretty obvious now... but i think i will attempt a lighter shade of brown next time. People usually get experimental when they are teenagers, me? i go a little crazy when i become 22.
I went a little Stephen King frenzy over the week, reading 2 of his newest books within 5 days. I got his latest hardcover-Lisey's story first, then gleefully grabbed the newly released paperback-Cell, when i juz finished Lisey. He is really a marvellous writer. Truly, remarkable prose and awe inspiring imagination aside, i think his greatest talent lies in the fact that he managed to create characters so real i can absolutely relate myself to them. Stephen King really managed to capture the quirks, idiosycracies and characteristics of people stunningly on the mark. I went " woah... bulls' eye!" Personally, although Cell is a pretty good effort by Stephen King, i like Lisey's story better. Read it and you know. I find it very touching.

haiz...

so near, but yet so far...

last day of work

i took these pictures not knowing that that day is my last at Kino. Sigh...

yogurt have beef!!!

I was thinking of eating Yoplait yogurt my brother bought and out of curiosity i look at the list of ingredients. Guess what i found?? Gelatin!
Gelatin is made up of the about animal protein. 65 % of the world-wide produced gelatin comes from hidesplits, connective tissue and the bones of cattle. Otherwise pigs serve for source material. Only in Australia, South Africa and New Zealand also sheep are used. The quality of the gelatin is influenced by the source of supply, which in Europe traditionally is mainly from pigs in the case of gelatin for food and medicaments. i also read that gelatin is used in sour creams, soup, gummy bears, sour cream, cream cheese cake icing and frosting, marshmallows, soups, sauces and gravies, canned ham and chicken, corned beef and sausages. Even the outer casing of pills are also made of gelatin! To think all these time i had been unwittingly eating beef.
My god.

frivolous day

i didn't know why i was feeling so tired today... even though i haven't done anything. I went to Chinatown with my mother and went happily shopping. I don't know why, but i juz love China town so much. Maybe because my mom was born there. :) didn't bought much, only a hair pin (influenced by Lucy, Huiling and Yu han's stick pin. Haha!) it's a different though. it's made up of 2 hair slides. nice, will wear it next time i go out. so many nice things, so little money to buy. especially when i'm not working right now. speaking of working... feels so weird. ought to be working today but turn out my last day is on Sat. really miss working miss the people i work with. no one to irritate now. haha... going to find someone to drive up the wall now. :)

lousy... feel so lousy, in need of change

self confidence plummeted, exam results sucked, life felt pretty confusing, meaningless and tiring. like what a friend once told me, sometime or another, you feel like you have fallen into a black hole and it's hard to get up. me? i'm grasping the edge of the hole. yes, i hate complaining too. i'll get over it, as usual, life goes on, but i need a new start. i need to feel in control. need to know i'm doing something useful. need to achieve something...

a breather

it's been a long time since i last write.i'm really going to change my layout. less clutter, bigger words and space. but definitely after my exams. man, talking about exams, marketing and law on the same day!!! they are trying to kill us!!
I am resigning from my job... i just couldn't believe it... i can't believe i made such a big step... i couldn't believe i finally went through the whole resignation procedure and most of all, how much i will miss working there. When the words came out of my mouth, i really feel like taking it back. But it set things in motion. Once you start, you really can't stop. Especially when you have been thinking for a long time about it. But when i told my senior about it, i really feel very depressed. I think i've been feeling quite bad since i broke the news. It's this feeling of heart ache, when i think of all the time i spent in there. All the friends i have made there. I spent alot of happy times there. When i feel lousy about school or about my family, i usually go work, crap with my seniors and colleagues and feel so much better. It just feel like my second home. The people i met there are so so special. I hardly meet other people more generous and patient with me. I don't think i can win any best employee award or something there yet most of the time they are really tolerant to my crappy mistakes and my idiosyncracies. After i told my manager, i thought, can i just tell them the next day i was kidding and it's all a September joke or something? Suddenly, i just can imagine how life will feel after i stop working there. It feels so ... i dunno. There is this hollow feeling i get in my stomach when i think about it. The one month notice is really torturous. I feel like just hiding in my room.
I'm 22 already... It's a threshold to responsibilities and maturity. I know some people reach it much earlier than me but sometimes you don't want to let go of youth. There is a barrier around you when you are young. You have your parents to comfort and protect you. But i know that this can't last forever. My parents are growing old, and sometimes they remind me that at their age, i'm suppose to look after them, not the other way round. It's rather painful when they say it but i know it's very true. I have to step off from the caccoon and to the real world. I have so much that i need to improve and change. But i just want to hide in my room sometimes.

the 3 days of doing absolute nothing

humph. i think i'm cursed. i can't believe how unfortunate i was to have contacted flu on Monday, the day before i got a work leave. (moan.....) i didn't manage to do anything for the last 3 days, no work, no studies, absolute zilch. I feel like a loser. It's worse because i already planned out what to do on Tuesday. To go school, study, do some marketing assignment, go Thomson to buy some soil, pots and seeds, and go Botanic Gardens for some exercise with my dad. Argh... How ironic is that? Darn.
I have to say, the last few days was one of agony. I have had flu before, but none as bad as this... The first day i was sneezing non stop, the second i was aching all over so badly i couldn't bear to touch anything. Today i was so tired from the medicine i was KO the whole day. Bugger. I've never slept so much in my life before. Worse, the medicine bill was a freaking $48! I couldn't believe my ears! When has the doctors' bill rise so much? A few years ago, the same medicine would have cost less than $40. My god. The last time i went to the doctor for food poisoning it cost me $50! The hole in my pocket is growing bigger and bigger...

The herb experience

I went for the herb gardening class today and i have to admit it was an eye opener. I learn so much! I've learnt how to grow my herbs better and the class also answer the many questions i have. Do you know that one of the golden rule of growing herbs is not to use fertilisers? It will dilute the taste and smell of herbs. But we can water them with water that we use to wash fishes when we cook, or leave crush eggs on the soil of the pots. The teacher also made a herbal concoction for us made of old ginger, raspberry, strawberries, mints and basil. Very enlightening. We also receive a $5 voucher and a free box of fertiliser. Not bad for a $25 class. people who are interested can register at either Far East Flora Thomson or Queensway. The class is held every Saturdays at 10am to 12 pm at Queensway near the Rideout McDonald Tea House.
I also went shopping alone today at holland village. I bought a cool $10 polo t-shirt, a pants that i bargained $4 off and a Scoll shoes. The last i bought only because my old shoes have no fiction at all because the bottom of the slippers have worn off. It was raining and i kept slipping. After buying the shoes, i nearly vomited blood. I was wondering why i got the shoes at such a steal of $30 when other shops sell them for $50 and above. Now i know why. Although it is apparently genuine, the shoes are super uncomfortable!! I end up having to buy a shoe pad to keep the shoes from slipping off my feet. Haiz, the offending shoes.









But i have to admit, in spite of it all, i still like it alot. It looks sweet, classy and most of all, it costs me $30!!! I better make full use of it. So girls, please don't buy anything with a price tag too good to be true! Argh.

A Nice Tuesday 2

This are the pictures i took at Far East Flora and McRitchie Reservoir.

McRitchie. Doesn't it look so eerily beautiful? All the lights and the gleaming water.

This is the coldroom at Far East Flora. Of course, this is only like one-fifth of the room. It was freaking cold but the flowers are gorgeous. Like the one below.

So nice. O_o

A Nice Tuesday

I had recently changed my work schedule and now have my Tuesday evenings free! Wow... you have no idea how it feels, this is this first time in more than a year i was able to go out and see the sun sets, enjoy the cool evening air and watch the light decends into the darkness. I never expect how much i will miss this time of the day till i started working part time. I love it when the sun cast an orange tinge to everything we see, and when you sense the air around us turn cool and fragrant. People will start to move and act slower, and there is a certain exquisite stillness in the surroundings. I love to walk around Botanic gardens and watch the sights and the sounds around me as the day slides to the night.
I was ecstatic when Tuesday come. It feels like i got a world of possibilities at my feet, free to go anywhere i choose, free to do what i wish. I got school on that day and planned to do some homework after that. I brought my incredibly heavy laptop to school to do some excel work. It was pretty fun at school, we went to the new Ding Tai Fung at Raffles City and i blew $12 on some baos and wantons. I still prefer Crystal Jade however. In my eyes, Crystal Jade still beat other chinese restaurants hands down. I think it might be the chicken stock.
After that, i went to study with Big Bao and Jason. I sort of show them my blog. (well, they insisted. Haha.) So i say that i will put their faces on my blog the next time. Here they are!! Now you know why we call the Big Bao a bao and Jason the bugger!!









The bao and bugger
haha!!
After the "revision" in which i never accomplish anything, i decided to go Far East Flora at Thomson. Why there? I love flowers, herbs, nature and gardening. I haven't garden for a long while because i just didn't have the time! Gardening takes up plenty of our time, no kidding.
I took some nice pictures of the flowers at Far East Flora. Look! All flowers! They also have a coldroom where they store all the freshly cut flowers. I was tempted to buy them, but i hated the fact that they'll die after a while. It seems so cruel.
I also decided to sign up for a herbs gardening session on the coming Saturday because i simply love herbs. I've grown all kinds of herbs-thymes, rosemary, lavender, lemon balm, mints, and basils. ah, love them all. We can even use them for aromatherapy, cooking and even as alternative medicine. Best of all they all smell incredible.
It was 8pm when i left the place. Since it was near McRitchie Reservoir i decided to go there for a solitary stroll carrying my nearly 2kg laptop and random textbooks. Well, good exercise, i have to say. I took some pictures of the reservoir while peering behind me warily. It was the first day of the seventh month and i was worried about perverts. There were a few people there, lovers, joggers and a woman smoking and muttering to her 5 dogs. I think i really look out of place there. Everyone stared weirdly at me.
My parents came to pick me up so that we can have dinner at an organic shop called Yogi Hub at Little India. My father had just returned from Malaysia and i was really happy to see him. Really miss him.
Hmm. What an eventful day. I'll endeavour to go Botanic Gardens on the next Tuesday.
Ps: will post the pictures i've taken on the next entry.

department dinner!! yah! Free food!

The happy part timers and an unwilling self proclaimed "mud".

Wah! We had the annual department dinner at Royal Park hotel. It was a buffet with lots of sumptuous food! Yummy! It also have a fondue where we can dip fruits, cookies at the gleaming chocolate fountain. My only regret is that i didn't get to eat more because we were all too busy taking pictures! Fun!















The children section Full timers and Part timers

21 going 45

Grabbed this picture from my-coke-goddess. Felt rather disappointed that i didn't bring my sis's camera along. Hmph, she needed it for her music concert thingie the same day.

Ah yes, i finally went "clubbing" at DXO. 21 odd years old and just stepping into a club for the first time. Just call me the epitome of suakunness.

I have to say, DXO is a pretty good chill out place. Nice ambience, intimate, beautiful scenery, small crowd.(so you don't really have to jostle with the rest.) They had a Miss bikini competition that night and me, Xiao Ding Dang, My Coke Goddess was highly amused by the slinky moves the girls made as they prance along the stage.

This whole experience of going to a club is sort of a non-event. I had a pretty high expectation of how clubbing will be like and when i finally went, it felt pretty... well, boring. Not what i imagine. Maybe it was the small crowd, the total absence of dancing(because of the Bikini competition), the casual dress code, but it doesn't have the thrill i anticipated. Everything felt so mellow. I couldn't really drink alcohol (but i sipped some vodha lime. It taste surprisingly good. Oh no, i'm a potential alcoholic.) because i'm recovering from food poisoning. I was pretty sapped of energy too, the result of food poisoning and a busy Friday nite at Kino. My parents will be so proud of me.

But i think, knowing the kind of person i am, that the real clubbing scene which i expect (if me and my friends go Mos or Zouk next time.) will probably bore me senseless after awhile. I think the dancing, drinking and dressing up is mindless frenzy. There isn't much of purpose to it. (though we girls can lose weight from it.) You get wild for awhile and if you drink alot, get a hefty hangover the next day. Clubbing is somewhat overrated. Hmm... I think i'll prefer drinking coffee or tea at some cafe, snuggling at some over sized sofa and chatting away, or shopping. Yes, i'm a boring person. >_<

It helps that you have a bunch of good friends that you can hang out with during boring times like this. Coke Goddess, Giant and Xiao Ding Dang are always so perky and fun. Especially when they are high with alcohol. Wah haha. Too bad that Giant had to leave when i come. Feel so xian with my working hours. It's too irregular. I can't spend time with my family and friends during the evenings when they are free. Sigh.

A usual day 0_o

Hmm... found out today that i need to start school on Wed. This news gave me a tingle of anticipation. Yay!! Studying again! I know it sounds odd but i think being a student, studying gives me a sense of purpose. (Well, i know i won't say that after a month into the term. o_o) Holidays are fun but it feels a little empty somehow. At least this holiday. I think it must be because i didn't accomplish much.
What a hot hot weather today. Today is the first day of the Chinese Lunar month so i am going to stay clear of all meat. As of all first and fifteen of each lunar month, i helped my mom with the preparation of all the stuff we need to burn. It is a long and tedious process. Other than the preparation itself in which we need to fold alot of hell papers into ingots, my family's tradition is that we pray at our house, followed by the temple housing my mother's side ancestors and lastly, by my late grandfather from my father's side. It is tiring but i have to confess that finishing the whole process give us a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes i wonder why we have to go through it. It is what a lot of people will consider a waste of time. But i think it is for a peace of mind. Call me superstitious, and i think alot of people will, but i believe in the existence of the afterlife. (i think i'm beginning to sound like a crank now.) Another reason why i do that is also because i have to help my mom sometimes. If i don't help her, she have to do it all alone. I do get lazy and escape from it alot, but i will help out when i can. Sometimes i'm really glad that i have a bunch of friends who can understand my weird lifestyle. When i tell them that i need to do this, they'll be considerate. (it helps that they are Buddhist.)
My grandmother was asleep when i visited the house. She looked so vulnerable and small when she sleeps. My grandmother is over ninety years old and she's so small she doesn't take up much space on her huge bed. It's been eleven years since my grandfather passed away yet she still keep to her side of the bed. It's achingly sad. I heard that she still stare at my grandfather's picture and cry sometimes. Life is... i don't know...
My mom and i went for a celebratory ice cream after that. I have to say, but the ice cream shop at Serene Center is really healthy. No preservative, no artificial anything and from personal experience, not sweet too. i was unsettled when i tasted the first bite. So health freaks, you know where to go.
I'm watching the anime Blood+ now. Woah, it's really gory and mysterious. Just my cup of tea. It's a story narrating a seemingly young girl Saya, who's blood kills vampires. She's an immortal who live a couple of lifespans trying to kill humanity's sworn enemy, who is also her (guess what?) sister. (Yes, yes, what a cliche.) The storyline is interesting, always keep you guessing, and the characters are multi-dimentional. (I love Haji.) It is not as nice as Samurai Champloo, Full metal panic and Full metal alchemist (Just watch the movie and was rather disappointed). but it is fun.
Ah, the end of my holidays. I have this overwhelming feeling to buy alot of stationery for the new term. ( all the G-techs, Pilots and U-zone calling for me.) Yah, and to get a new school diary. Hmm... love being a student. I will miss the carefree days of the holidays, but school beckons.

Wasted holiday! Argh.

Next week school will start. As much as i anticipate the prospect of going school again to study, i felt that the 3 weeks of holiday seemed so fleeting. I didn't even get to do the things i set out to do! Bugger. ( * i'm juz wondering if i should change my blogskin. The words are so tiny that it makes reading difficult. Argh. Have to re edit all the html again.*)

What did i say i want to do for my holidays again?

1. Go little India myself after work. But just can't muster the effort to go, usually exhausted after work but honestly, Mustafa Center is the best after 11pm. I love the place, so many things to see and browse.
2. Start Gardening. Couldn't pick up the spade. Sigh... i'm so procrastinative. (Wait, where is the spade now?) Bugger. I enjoy planting and growing plants, especially herbs because they smell really nice. Since i grow them without using pesticides and chemicals, they can be used for cooking and other stuff too.
3. Buying clothes and shoes. No money. 'nuff said. But i probably have to buy some t shirts and a new pair of slippers for school.
4. Create a blog. That i manage to do. I want to be more internet and computer savvy and to practice my flagging English.
5. Read more books. Oddly enough, i'm way below my average of 7 to 8 books per holiday. This holiday i only read 3 books. The rest are computer books. Yes computer books. I never thought i will ever be interested in computer stuff.
6. To go out more. In fact, i think i have become a hermit. Having internet and a personal laptop has really open up a new world to me so much that i think i don't want to go out so often. Yes i know, i'm nuts but i only get internet access this year. Have i failed to mention this but my family lived in the stone age.
7. Lose weight, exercise more. Ultimate and total failure.
8. Yes, to get in touch with my religion more. I have been neglecting my religion. During my exams, i started to think i need soul replenishment. Don't you think that after some time, you feel tainted and affected by all the rubbish (bad aura) around us? I do. That's why sometimes i hide at home. Everything is so much less complicated when you have a moment of solitude. I love going to the temple. When i enter one, i usually feel a sense of peace. All the noise (in all sense.) dies away and i feel enveloped in calmness and ,for some reasons unknown, happiness. I love the smell of incense (but not when it start sticking to my hair and clothes.), the glitter of the statues and the flickers of flames on candles. Perhaps the feelings are purely psychological, although saying that seem to undermine the significance of Buddhism to me. I think everybody should have a religion to find the inner balance. Any religion that suits you. But it never fail to make me sad when i see the prejudice people have on Buddhism. Some say it is old-fashioned, superstitious, for the aunties, and simply worshipping empty statues. Each to its own. But people should read more on Buddhism to understand the history and meaning behind it before criticizing it.

All these goals and 80% undone. Sigh... Wonder if i can squeeze these goals all by this weekend? Never hurt to try. -_-

Better English

I had an interesting talk with my friend, Indian Lotus, from school yesterday. It started with our indignation with our exam results (more on that later) and move on to the subject of our country. She said that though Singlish do give us our cultural identity, it is detrimental to the standard of English in Singapore. i was unconvinced at first, until i remember the various times i couldn't find a way to express myself in English because i had been using Singlish, Mandarin, Hokkien and Cantonese to substitute it. Although it is easier for Singaporean communicating this way but what happens when we travel overseas or when we need to present an important meeting in front of foreign businessmen? They would not be able to understand us. In fact, as much as i will like to think i can switch off Singlish when the time comes for me to speak proper English, Singlish is far too deeply entrenched in me. I will unknowingly drop the " 'll " and the " 're " and say embarrassing things like"the colour is blue." and "pronounciation". I think to speak good English is vital for Singaporeans. We might not need to cut off all Singlish but we have to ensure that our spoken and written English are grammatically correct. There is one interesting article on it at this link. Read at your own risk. http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/musings/index.html on Friday, June 16, 2006 (i had to read it twice before i can grasp what it says.

Actually, my idea to start a blog actually started when i realised that my school essays usually suck because i always couldn't express myself very well. I always write long and draggy paragraphs that frustrates my teachers to the point that they tear their hair off and give me results that reflect that. So i decided i need practice. >_<

It seems weird. I used to like writing. I even got complimented on my writing when i when i was in primary and secndary school. What happen?

usual unpredictable day >_<

Today is a normal shift work day. I went to work with a really heavy heart thinking of all the mistakes and mishaps that could happen. My premature trepidations was justified. I was late by 5 minutes. Salary deducted. Bugger. Well, i knew i'll be late. But... it could be avoided if i had taken a cab... and spend an overwhelming $7. At least the money that is deducted is not as much as what i will spend on a taxi ride. Still... I spent a full minute on self-pity. Reached the place perspiring and red on my face since i needed to run as the bus does't stop in front of Taka. Except for that slight hiccup, the day went off smoothly. (Touch Wood. Superstitious me.) I made mistakes and received the usual exaggerated frowns and exclamations of "how can you make such a mistake!" as i try to find places to run and hide. Sometimes, I wonder how my seniors' sanity remain intact with me around. (Well, one of them is leaving and she did stare hard at me when she announced that but...no proof the reason's me.) One of my senior said that working with me is always "entertaining". Hmm.

Sometimes i feel like quiting. The pressure of working and studying at the same time is staggering. Especially the last few weeks of the last term. I slept an average of 4 hours every night trying to finish all my assignments and exam revisions. I also have little personal time of my own to meet my friends, family, do revisions and pursue my hobbies. Yet, for every moment i think of quiting, some occasions hold me back-some shared laughter with my seniors or friends there; when i make a mistake and was not scolded; when i feel happy i accomplished a task. I really like working there sometimes. Especially when there are fellow part timers with me and i can joke, talk with them. The people there are essentially nice, supportive and friendly people. (and really patient ones to stand all my random mistakes and blurness) It will be difficult to find another job with such congenial working environment. Money is also another factor. It is empowering to earn your own money, to quit relying on your parents so much and adding excess burden to them. Although it is stressful now, i know i need this experience.

Back to my day. The reason i was late was in my lunchbox. When i open the lunchbox today, it was quite the centre of attention. My manager who ate with me on Monday already warned the rest. "Look like canned dog food."she had said to them. "Smells weird." The senior leaving soon said with a frown and she passed my lunchbox around. I make up my mind not to sit beside her again. Luckily they change the topic to why i don't eat carbo or they'll soon be stabbed by my plastic fork.

I had a throbbing headache when i left work. When i went up the bus, i realised to my horror that i don't have any more credit to my ez-link hard. What luck, what joy. I had to change my lucky $2 note with some disconcerted passengers as happy passengers behind me rushed up to claim the best seats. I have to resign sitting beside a person who kept talking to himself and give off B.O. I had to bury my nose in my bag pretending to sleep.

Well, couldn't say my day is perfect today. It certainly has its up and down. But that's life i guess. I couldn't ask for anything more. :)